Parents want to help their children through difficulties, but can be anxious about doing so. Braces often give them a great opportunity to practice techniques that will become more necessary as children develop into adulthood and can serve as the basis of an emotional connection that will support the success of young adults. By following a couple of simple suggestions, parents can ensure that their willingness to help is sincerely appreciated
The following advice comes from the basic guidebook for therapists and social workers across the globe and has been proven effective for professionals helping their clients deal with a wide range of difficulties, from major depression and anxiety disorders to a bad day at the office or a broken bone.
When a child expresses emotional turmoil or trauma, the first thing to do is empathize with their grief. This can be more difficult for parents, if only because of the high degree of emotional attachment they have with their kids. Odd as it may seem, the instinct to discount or neglect a child’s negative emotions becomes stronger, the more ties one has. On the other hand, the stronger the emotional ties, the greater the degree of empathy.
Showing a deep understanding of a child’s pain will help validate their emotional response, which not only improves self-confidence, but also ensures that more effective coping strategies will be attempted. If the child does not believe he/she should feel the way they do, then why would they try to do anything about it. Instead, the individual can think there is something wrong with them for feeling the way that they do, beginning to develop an unhealthy perception of themselves.
A parent can, for instance, share a story that evoked a similar emotional reaction in them, to communicate an understanding of the child’s trauma. This strategy is particularly effective because it can develop the child/parent relationship and help the child accept their emotional reaction at the same time. Often, a parent who had braces will have a number of great stories to share, which will accomplish this.
Once a mutual understanding is reached and the child agrees that the parent understands the degree of his/her discomfort/sadness/anger, the parent will be in a position to help the child work through the negative emotions. A part of this process may entail analyzing the source of grief or problem solving for future situations. For instance, a child may have been made fun of by one or two peers in a group, but that does not mean that the entire group feels similarly. Explaining that the other members of the group probably do not feel the same way can help the child feel less alienated and more likely to pursue social contact with other peers.
The most important fact to take away from this is to empathize first, and help afterward. Jumping straight in to problem solving can effectively dismiss the child’s emotional reaction, leading to ineffectual coping or even resentment. Remember that by listening and demonstrating the fact that one has heard and understood on an emotional level what the child is trying to communicate, the parent becomes, in turn, an authority figure.
